between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
glow-in-the-dark stars on his ceiling from '98 totally make blowing him more romantic.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Speaking of, what are you doing next weekend? I'm going to a rope bondage seminar and may need a partner if my date bails.
We went camping and met these lesbians and now I have S'mores where there shouldn't be S'mores.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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