if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
i just made a girl do the walk of shame. as a bumblebee. i love halloween.
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I wasted my skinny years on you. The least you can do is high five me at the bar
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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