if i can run in heels then i can drive
my boyfriend just named your boyfriend's penis.
Come here. I'm drunk. Family Function. Intense Pro-life vs. Pro-choice debate. Bring Republicans.
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
You were spitting chewed up pretzle into my hands telling me to hold it for you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Randomize