So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Can we promise no matter what that we have sex the night the Mayan calendar runs out?
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
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