Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
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