Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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