capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
if you're passed out when i get there i get to wear your banana costume and do awful things to you
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
Randomize
