i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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