If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
He looked so uninterested when the stripper was slapping him. Now his roommates are harassing me about how crazy our sex must be.
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