Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
Last night, I accomplished the impossible. I pissed while riding my bicycle home without pissing all over myself. My Dutch friends gave me a round of applause and said I was now the king of holland.
What a dumb baby whore.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Okay. So I've done lines off a bible. But that's just for the sake of being cliché.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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