I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
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