im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
Randomize