They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
Randomize
