All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
I am literally so hung over that I just opened up my emergency kit, got out a survival meal replacement bar and ate it.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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