Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
How is there a hawk inside this house? More importantly how the hell is he handling it without any gear?
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