I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
It's blow job season.
So heartbroken my rebound has a rebound
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
Randomize
