I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
You can't text people with drinkers' regret at 8 in the morning. It's just bad form.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
