nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
