They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
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