i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
The only word I understood in that whole setence was semen.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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