Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
This was my thought process as I drunkenly ran home: Whoa! I'm going so FAST! Why don't I run EVERYWHERE! ALL THE TIME! Then I peed in a bush and passed out on the ground.
So basically you were a dog.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You told her that she shouldn't be allowed to wear clothes then when her roommate asked if you like her you said "no I just want to insert things into her"
I stand by it.
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
Randomize
