yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
