I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Has my life seriously led me to day drinking on a Monday the third week of the semester?
It's after 5, it's not day drinking.
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
Randomize
