It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Note to self: never fuck a Canadian, surprisingly highly disappointing
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