on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
SEEEEXXX PLEASE
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
Am I allowed to make my facebook status "loves farting in chairs"? I think it would shock every boy that I am friends with.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I left you a really long drunk voicemail and I remember something about a bat
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