I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Wow, this guy is harder to get rid of than gum in pubic hair
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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