we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
she's bipolar. she literally has TWO facebook pages. one for each personality. this. bitch. is. crazy.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
It wasn't so much skinny dipping. It more like skinny walking...through a fountain.
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
Randomize
