I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
