LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
you're the only person I know who would bring a water bottle of screwdriver to a wedding, and toast with it during the speech
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It's really funny to see the look on the sales lady's face when she asks why you're replacing a painting. "I knocked it off the wall during sex w/ my heels," wasn't what she expected.
I have aggressive nipples.
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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