I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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