Being alone has allowed me to flourish into a complete weirdo
the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
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We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
literally the only thing you kept saying was "i wish i had a beer keg vending machine that accepted hugs as payment" and everytime you said it you rubbed the urn her grandmother's remains were in
I forgot to tell you thank you for putting me out when I was on fire. im sure I'll laught about this someday...
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
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If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
you are dancing on the line between undergrad and alcoholic.
I heard you were drinking whiskey straight from the bottle last night.
Actually I was drinking whiskey straight from 3 bottles, but that is neither here nor there.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Hold on...did you Instagram a picture of you and your boyfriend while you were sending me dirty snapchats?
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
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