Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I'm sure you're still partially crippled from thar blow job on Saturday, so I understand it's probably difficult to text.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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