The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
These tits shall not be calmed
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
