So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
