its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
The bend and snap? 98% success rate of getting attention. When used appropriately, it has an 83% rate of return on a dinner invitation.
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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