Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
