I molested 6 butterflies tonight
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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