I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
Randomize
