I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
He gets a blow job; I get my oil changed free of charge. And that way I only see him every 2500 miles.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
