You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
