Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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