i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
yyyea i think im gonna go get a bowl and play skyrim. And by bowl i mean something i can throw up in, not weed
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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