i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
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I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
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Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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