ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
If the people you’re with use the word tequila in a sentence with phrases like hair of the dog or breakfast of champions...run awsy
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