if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
At least my shower head will respect me in the morning.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Can't decide if this guy is hot or if I'm just bored.
Sex is clearly the solution either way.
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize