he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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