I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
