no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
Randomize
