wakey wakey hands off snakey
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
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