Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
Randomize
