Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I never woulda thought that back in kindergarten playong kickball that'd i'd be 24 getting plastered in front of the white house and winning a kickball championship in a young adult drinking league
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
Randomize
