bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
everyone knows he gets back in a week and after that i'm not sleeping around anymore. it's like i have a expiration date.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
His middle name is Julius so I named his penis Caesar and told him he has to say "Hail Caesar!" whenever he comes. He didn't seem to like the idea, though.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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