dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
just ate frosted cheerios in coffee with some marshmellows. the college diet begins
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
Just found cake in my bra, debating if I should eat it
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
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