so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
She bruised my penis again. But, trooper I am we kept on going.
Randomize
