Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
So let me get this straight I was getting drunk with our science teacher from high school and you got drunk with an 82 year old woman who invited you back to her house and made you sandwiches.
Yes.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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