What a fucking waste of an outfit
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I just spent the last 30 mins playing uplifting songs to my uterus, & there's no way I'm pregnant.
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
