i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
