she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
