I'm going to rape someone's good day.
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
