I peed while puking? Even better
Yes you most deff did. Ultimate multi tasker you are
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
is that a dick in a sweater?
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
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