I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My feelings for him are donzo molonzo but I can't turn down a pierced penis...
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
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