She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
