You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
