That's when you crack a 10am beer
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
i'm not sure when it happened but apparently now it's topless bar night, im wearing a leotard and everyone is looking at me like i'm cheating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Guess who isn't pregnant with a random sex ocean baby?!?!
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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