I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
Randomize
