I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
Randomize
