there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
Randomize
