I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
I'll ask around, all of my friends have girlfriends now for the most part though so they're all dead inside
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
Randomize
