I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
