How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
Randomize
