I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
I am in a vortex of obligation.
Do vagina's smell?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I've decided the third guy that I slept with is who I lost my virginity to...
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
