She said her name was "party"
I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
Changing from sweatpants to jeans at 3 in the afternoon makes the day seem so much more productive than it actually was.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
